too bad you live with your parents still
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
