There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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