Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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