Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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