How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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