She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
