after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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