just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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