You're my little dorito
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize