I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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