I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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