You're so nebulous sometimes
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
