you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
