The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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