In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
