You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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