why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
