do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
