his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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