I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
