Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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