But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
