She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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