it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Barsexuality is the new black.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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