Is it because I queefed?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
