I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
