This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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