I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
