just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
