3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize