look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He shit in the fireplace
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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