i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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