It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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