tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
