what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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