i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
