I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
