I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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