I just made out with a guy for $7.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
