I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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