I don't remember. Are we still dating?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
