Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
