There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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