You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
