his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
