Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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