we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
