I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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