hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
