Have you finally orgasmed yet?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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