how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
