i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
