I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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