I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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