I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
