I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
