she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
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