why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
