I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
